DON’T VISIT UGHELLI IN DELTA STATE; OTHERWISE, YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!

Living in ughelli in delta state, for the past 5years, I’ve experienced the good, the bad and the deaf and dumb! It’s funny though, because from what I learnt, the city has been in existence for a very long time but the rate of economic development is very slow.

If you are visiting ughelli for the first time, there are so many things to watch out for, namely:

1. Restaurants/Mama Put: Generally, the residents of ughelli aka “omotor” are very stubborn people. It’s only in this town a woman who doesn’t know how to cook, would start a restaurant business!!! and if you are very unfortunate to eat from such a restaurant, you would need the GOD OF TBJOSHUA to deliver you from stomach ache.

2. Beggars: These sets of individuals beg with swag and packaging; they go as far as telling you how much they want. Imagine a stranger with complete hands and legs walking up to you and saying “bros, your guy na deaf and dumb ooooo, I fit get sky(N50) from you” or better still he/she would say “bros ATM machine just cease my card, I fit get like 2k(N2,000) from you make I take press?”

3. Filling Stations: This is the highest scam in this town. On their notice boards and fuel dispensing machines, N86.50 per litre is clearly displayed. By the time you want to buy fuel, the pump attendant would say “bros na N120 per litre oooooo” and then you ask “why did you display N86.50 per litre on your dispensing machine, when you are actually selling at N120 per litre?” and she would say “bros, the fear of DPR na the beginning of all HIGHLIGHTS ooooo”

4. Motorcycle Riders: In ughelli, they are popularly called okada riders. These sets of ughelli residents are always right! On the road, they can overtake your car from both left and right and still insult you.

5. Ughelli Youths (BOYS): These guys don’t want to work but they want to drive exotic cars, wear designers and leave in the choicest part of the city. They are very lazy people and they beg with packaging.

In recent past, I was in a bar with my friends having a good time and one dude walked up to me and said “bros e don tay I dey see you for this bar oo, abeg make them buy your guy 2 champions’ league na” I didn’t understand, so I asked him “what do you mean by champions’ league?” then he laughed and said “bros, for ughelli, na HEINEKEN we dey call CHAMPIONS LEAGUE oooo”

I like ughelli boys too much. They are the only sets of dudes that can drink a bottle of GOLDBERG for 2hrs.......no jokes. They do this because they can’t afford to buy 2 bottles.

Amidst all the afore mentioned points, ughelli is a peaceful place to stay as long as the youths are not fighting over “deve” and army vans do not patrol the streets to ensure the safety of the residents.